Long Island is the land of beaches, bagels and Billy Joel, and when people find out you’re a proud Long Islander, it can always lead to some interesting conversations. Here are ten humorous and sometimes predictable reactions Long Islanders often encounter.
Long Islanders are no strangers to their distinctive accents, especially when it comes to pronouncing “coffee” as “caw-fee.” It’s as if our vocal cords took a detour to Brooklyn before settling on Long Island. We’ve perfected the art of ordering coffee with a New York accent and birdsong too. It’s like we secretly start hitting caffeinated clubs. So, yes, we’re pretty fluent in the “caw-fee” language.
“I can never drive in the city!”
Long Island is not a city. Not far. We get it. Long Island may be a stone’s throw away from New York, but it’s worlds apart. We have wide roads, quiet neighborhoods and real parking. Long Island was our sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of the city, where we navigated traffic effortlessly. You won’t find skyscrapers here, but we had plenty of room for our minivan, which was very much appreciated.
“Is that like Staten Island?”
Again, not cities. Oh, Staten Island, our misunderstood inner-city cousin. We may have some similarities, we are a unique breed. Think of Staten Island as the cousin of dabbling in city life, and Long Island its cousin of spending weekends at the beach, rocking flip-flops and wearing sunscreen.
“You know what…fill in the blank (LI Medium, Amy Fisher…they’re cousins from Massapequa).”
Long Island has seen its fair share of famous faces and infamous stories, but sorry to disappoint you, not every Long Islander rubs shoulders with them. Unless we’re clairvoyant or directly connected to the paparazzi, we probably don’t know your aunt’s best friend’s hairstylist who goes to school with the Long Island Medium nephew.
“Billy Joel from LI!”
Really? you do not say! Sit tight guys because it’s true! Billy Joel, the pianist himself, is a Long Island legend. Our local pride swells every time we hear his voice on the radio. He is our musical hero and we never miss an opportunity to let everyone know. Billy Joel, piano virtuoso and Long Island’s unofficial soundtrack, is practically our patron saint. We could have an entire playlist dedicated to his biggest hits, and yes, we’ve all been known to burst into song when “Piano Man” comes along. We’re not shy about talking about our Billy Joel romance—it’s like a musical rite of passage for all Long Islanders.
“Lawn Guy Land” lol…”
Yes, that’s what we said! Welcome to the land with meticulously maintained lawns and manicured hedges. Long Island’s reputation as “Land of the Meadowmen” is no joke. We take our landscaping as seriously as if our lawn had its own red carpet event. Don’t ask us about our secret fertilizer formula. We may or may not have secret lawn contests in which we silently judge our neighbors’ grass growth. Welcome to “Lawn Guy land,” where the lawns are so perfectly manicured that the sound of the mowing has become our unofficial song. It’s a suburban utopia, one grass at a time. Yes, that’s how we pronounce it. get over it. The joke is not funny anymore.
“Do you eat a lot of pizza?”
Yes! Pizza is our sacred offering to the Long Island God of Cookery. We have an unwritten law that requires us to eat delicious slices on a regular basis. We’ve perfected the art of foldable slices, mouthwatering toppings, and the perfect cheese-to-sauce ratio. Pizza is our love language, and we’re fluent in the dialect of pepperoni and extra cheese.It’s actually our civic duty Revel in this cheesy delight.
“Do you eat a lot of bagels?”
yes. Long Island bagels are the best!
“So you live on Long Island?
Arrrggggghhh No, I live on Long Island! This is the battle cry we have learned to master. We don’t just live on “Long Island”; we proudly live “on” it. We are surrounded by miles and miles of breathtaking beaches, salty air and endless opportunities to perfect our beach bum status. So, when you make the major mistake of saying “in” instead of “on,” be ready to be corrected.
“You must go to the beach a lot.”
Yes. This is our second home and the ultimate place to escape the daily grind. This is where we unwind, soak up our vitamin D, fish, surf, and perfect our sandcastle-building skills. In fact, Long Islanders have sand in their DNA. We know the best beaches inside and out and have a knack for finding the perfect spot, even on the busiest summer days. Going to the beach isn’t just a hobby; it’s our way of life.
The next time you meet a Long Islander, feel free to share a laugh or two about these ten funny things that come up when the island is mentioned. Remember, it’s “caw-fee” not “coffee” and we lived on “Long Island” and were basking in the sun on our way to the beach, wolfing down bagels and “caw-fee”.